No More Eeyore

eeyore

Lately, I’ve noticed that I am focusing quite a bit on negative thoughts about myself.  In conversations with my boss, I find myself telling her about things I don’t do well.  I’ve talked about my habit of procrastinating. my inability to create a plan or a budget, my feelings of inadequacy, my lack of discipline.  I’m doing a heck of a job of making her feel good about her decision to hire me.  In spite of it all, she thinks I’m doing a great job even I question my abilities and results.

I’ve been talking to my co-workers about my life and my struggles with depression.  Instead of celebrating my triumphs over mental illness, I tell them about my shyness, my anxiety, my fear of making a mistake, my inability to accept praise (see yesterday’s blog).

Do I want them to feel sorry for me?  Am I creating an excuse so when I fail, they won’t be surprised?  Do I think they’ll like me more if I am weak?  Am I creating a self-fulfilling prophecy to ensure that I fail?  Whatever the reason, I am getting sick and tired of it.

It’s time to stop being Eeyore.  It’s time to focus on the positive things about me and what I bring to the job.  It’s time to accept praise from my boss and co-workers.  It’s time to accept mistakes and learn from them.  It’s time to ask for help if I need help and not struggle in silence.

Everyone loves adorable little Eeyore.  I wonder if Eeyore loves himself.  I am sure that he is not as harsh on others as he is on himself.   I am sure that he doesn’t give himself credit.  But Eeyore is stuck in his fictional life.  As for me, I don’t plan to be stuck in the rain.  Let the sun shine in.

 


One thought on “No More Eeyore

  1. Thanks for sharing this. I haven’t dealt with mental illness, but I’ve definitely noticed a tendency to let my own inner Eeyore run my life. It’s interesting that you use Winnie the Pooh characters as a reference. Each one seems to represent a particular facet of human behavior/emotion. If you’re interested, I highly recommend a book called “The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff.

    Like

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